Episode 33 -- The Battle

All around the Obese American arose cries of anger, desperation, and malice. To the north he found the Ants gang: a ruthless band of thugs. Charging at him from the south were members of the Lost gang --a group local to the city of Lost Wages who were reportedly involved in drug-related violence. Both groups charged angrily down the street. At first, the Great One believed that he had inadvertently found himself in the middle of a gang war, but then he heard the cries:

"There he is!"
"Kill him!"
"Kill that fat slob!!"

He had no time to consider why these two mobs of strangers might be coveting his hide. Instead, he glanced quickly at his surroundings. East of him was a block wall approximately twelve feet high. On the other side was a storefront; surely he wouldn't take the combat into someone's business. Below him was a manhole cover, but judging from its diameter, it would be a difficult squeeze. Several times in US history, the country had been in difficult scrapes. The hero thought of Iwo Jima and the long battle for Guadalcanal. Whenever threatened most, America always thrived.

As they attacked him with clubs, rocks, and knives, he spun around rapidly -- a lot more rapidly than they expected. Five of them were rebuffed at one time. With a flurry of punches and kicks, he knocked them back out of his zone of control. Still, they had him surrounded. From all sides, dozens of angry citizens picked up rocks and began to hurl them at him. Undaunted, he faced them all with great courage. They sneered, hoping to bloody his uniform. Then one of them observed, "It's an American flag." He took the opportunity and spoke.

"That's right, citizens. The costume that I wear is a reflection of my own identity: YOUR identity as Americans. Is this how we want to behave? Like the lawless and unruly? America was founded on far greater principles."

As if to approve of his speech, both gangs suddenly stopped throwing stones and began to listen. He continued: "The rule of law assures that all Americans are safe from tyranny. I do not know why you are angry with me today, but if I have wronged you, let the great courts of this land decide it. If anything I have done deserves punishment, let me take my place in prison. If you have anything to say to me, let the First Amendment to our great Constitution guide your speech. Whatever you decide to do, do it proudly as Americans. Show respect both to the flag and to this nation."

One by one, they dropped their rocks and concealed their weapons. Then one of the Ants, the oldest, said, "We were told that you hate minorities." One of the Lost -- a man named Jack -- interjected, "We were told that you hate whites." Members of the two gangs looked at one another in confusion. The Obese American spoke again.

"My friends, I am not here today because I am filled with hatred. Indeed, I have fought hatred and intolerance throughout my career. America, that great melting pot, is the one place in the world where humans of all colors and creeds can find their spirit of unity. That spirit, the American spirit, is free from petty hatreds and fears. I don't know who told you these things about me, but they were mistaken."

"Mistaken?" The elder Ant's face showed a look of perplexity and aggravation. "No. They weren't mistaken. They were LYING!" Someone else shouted, "Yeah!" A Lost gang member named Hugo screamed, "Let's rip their freaking heads off!" The Obese American frowned at this, but before he could speak, Jack retorted: "No. We must trust in the spirit that guides this great nation. Sir," he addressed our hero, "can you promise us justice?"

The Obese American looked at the citizens around him. He felt their yearning for righteousness. Humbly and honestly he said, "I can, and I do." Jack nodded. Suddenly and with one purpose, the mob parted, allowing the Great One a path of egress. "For justice...away we go," he said, and he trotted off.

Upon the departure of our hero, Jack commented to both gangs: "It will take a great man to stop the fighting here and to bring about justice. And I admit that I've never seen anyone greater."

NEXT: A Grave Plot