Episode 34 -- Another Layer of the Onion

Following mysterious clues was far from the strong suit of the astonishing superhero, the Obese American. Truth be told, his greatest skill was probably speed-eating. Nevertheless, with the fate of the city of Lost Wages at stake, and with its mayor, Ashcan Goombah, pleading with him constantly, the power of the American dream sustained our hero -- to the point of uncovering a dastardly plot.

"At first I wasn't sure they were trying to kill me because of this investigation," he told the mayor, "but now I'm certain that they want me off this case." The American wiped his brow, downed a lard smoothie, and stared at a handful of papers.
"What have you discovered?" Mayor Goombah seldom looked nervous, but this was a rare day for him.
"Hmm...I'm not sure...." That made the mayor even more uptight, but the American continued speaking:
"The blog entries I found the other day alluded to some sort of voting campaign. They mentioned a series of pro-voting songs. I downloaded the music to my iPod Nano (TM), and there's something fishy about it."
"Fishy? We have an organization in town called PISCES!"

Mayor Goombah was referring to the clandestine group whose acronym stood for Plotting In Secrecy to Control Everything Subversively. The Obese American had dealings with them before, during the Great Water Grab.

"No, that's not what I mean," he replied. "The songs themselves were bland pop songs. They sort of reminded me of that singer, Bratney."
"Nobody listens to her anymore, bubbala. She's totally last week."
"Uh...I know that. But the music...never mind. Anyway, I transferred the files to a computer and had some geeks look at it. This is their report."
Mayor Goombah glanced at the pages in the fat one's gloved-but-sweaty hand. "Always trust the geeks," he said, as if he had nothing else to say.
"Ah, yes," continued the enormous hero. "They're convinced that the music contains subliminal messages. The first message seemed harmless, telling people to save their money, but this came just before the economic slowdown here in Lost Wages."
"You think they're manipulating the economy?"

The Obese American pondered the possibility of someone using music to control people's minds. It seemed crazy to him, and yet in this case it almost had to be true. "The next message said, 'Nazis are fun.' I don't know what THAT meant, but the third message was the most obvious. While the song itself was all about getting out to vote, the embedded message told people to hate you."

"What exactly did it say?" The mayor's nervousness was now even more manifest. His voice was weak, and his brow was dripping perspiration.
"Don't trust Goombah. Hate Goombah. Stop Goombah."
The mayor gasped. "No wonder my poll numbers are down!"
"So, you believe this subliminal stuff?"
"I have no choice," he replied. His anxiety had begun to transform into anger. "Who's behind this?!"
"Well....Do you have an organized neo-Nazi group in this city?" The Obese American was tentative about this as he said it, but his instincts were on the mark. "I always suspect a conspiracy," he added, and indeed, many Americans do believe at least one conspiracy theory.
"Not that I know of. Can you find out?"
"Oh, yeah," the tubby one blurted out confidently. "Whatever's going on, I'll have it figured out soon."

Soon indeed...

Next: Be a Smarty